Abused-Family Parties 2

   Holiday parties shouldn't be so bad, they should be fun and full of laughter and joy, but the fear factor invades my being, and turns me into a basket case, all because of the unknown. Night after night not knowing if he would sneak into my room, the the anxiety I would feel until I would finally fall asleep still haunts me to this day.

   The day to day events that took place in our chamber of horrors, never allowed me to be comfortable in my own home, just waiting for the other shoe to drop was exhausting. The only real rest we got was when the Abusers were gone for the day. You would never know what would set either of these parental figures off. Each contained their demons and each one was worse than the other on given days. Normally they were only social drinkers, so you can't blame the abuse on drugs and alcohol because they didn't partake in that scene, my opinion was they were just plane and simply evil. I would work my fingers to the bone to please them, try to make them content and be happy so they wouldn't hurt me or my brothers. Mother although not the sex abuser, but a mother who could put Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest to shame, her weapon of choice wasn't a wire hanger, that hurt her hand, she preferred the extension cord, she believed in whippings until you bled or when she was tired. Her verbal abuse could steam the skin off a dead cat, to this day she commands and demands and has managed to drive everyone away from her. My siblings, still drawn to her for some estranged reason, can only take her is very small doses. They are still fighting to call us a family. What they don't' realize is that we were never a Norman Rockwell family and the gatherings of all of us together only brings us pain from the past, a place I would rather not go. I can't feel ashamed of saying all this because it's fact, I feel freedom at last to just let it go, I am taking back that little piece of my soul that was taken from me. I didn't give it, it was stolen!